What I want for christmas.

December 19th, 2008

Everybody has been asking me what I would like for Christmas, of course I answer with my customary shrug, it is my well thought out plan to get money, with five kids I don’t spend much on myself through the year.  However as an adult I have never really expressed what I really want for Christmas, the reaction from my family would just be uncomfortable I am sure.

For all I want for Christmas is snow but not just a dusting, I want around 10 feet of snow, you know the kind that forces you to stay home.  With all the hustle and bustle that comes along with the holidays for me, my one wish is to have a quiet Christmas with just my hubby and kids at home.  To just decide to stay home would bring with it guilt trips from family members about how I am ruining their Christmas, and how I should just go to their house even if I cancel any other plans.  However if it snows they would be concerned for my safety and they wouldn’t want me to get out in it, so I would get my quiet holiday without all the guilt.

Don’t get me wrong okay I would feel a little guilty but only because my grandma lives alone, of course I am the type that blames myself for a  lot so most likely I would feel a lot guilty since it is my wish to be snowed in, I would probably find a way to make myself feel like it was all my fault so maybe a happy Christmas is just a hoop dream.  The dream also doesn’t take into account that I live down the driveway from my in-laws, who own a lot of heavy equipment so I am sure they would dig us out just in time for dinner.

Okay as for the moral of the story, first don’t use guilt trips on your kids, they will turn out like me and blame themselves for everything and feel guilty for having dreams that don’t align with yours, which isn’t fair. My second lessen may not apply to all but it effects me.  Living close to your family will probably obligate you to go to family events no matter what, so if you have a strong sense of obligation then don’t live near them. I have a strong sense of obligation so I do as others wish to make them happy, then I spend a lot of time resenting that obligation and blaming myself for the whole situation.

To anyone that suffered through reading this, I am sorry I just sort of rambled.  Merry Christmas all!!!!!!!!!!!